So Sad

I've just been to a forum that I've been posting on for many years. I've always found comfort there in times of need, and I've enjoyed sharing all types of news with the many ladies there. I've met many of them and so wanted to meet more. But, I signed on today to find so many arguments and nastiness. I can't even begin to form an opinion on it all as my sorrow is already so deep in my own families problems atm. I guess I'm being selfish but I feel as though I've now lost my sounding board, my place of comfort and support. I feel so incredibly sad, over a forum, is that daft? Or maybe it's just because I'm an emotional wreck atm anyway.
I've been busy, have to be busy it's helps to stop the thinking. Last night I wrapped loads of christmas presents, still have more to do but I need to get some more paper.
Today I've been calling family and working out a rota for visiting mum. Tomorrow will be difficult as it's my eldest brother's visit, I'm not looking forward to that. Then Tuesday I'm taking mum's youngest sister to see her, they've been at loggerheads with each other for years, but it's time for peace now. God, how am I going to cope with all this emotion.
I just have two more aunties to sort as I know they don't have their own transport, the others can make there own way.
Plans for Christmas (I pray every night that she makes it until after christmas) Christmas Eve I will prepare a dinner for mum and my brother. Christmas morning I'll call my brother to tell him when to turn everything on. Then I'll go and finish the cooking and serve it up. I'll then leave her in peace while I go home and feed my family. Then I'm going back with my older kids, my daughter was central to the whole family split so that's going to be tough, but she wants to go and mum wants to see her. I just hope and pray that it happens.
I must talk to the Macmillan nurses tomorrow, I think they have them at the hospice mum has been referred to. (no, she's not going into the hospice, they will support her at home)
There is one more thing I need to do but I can't face it right now, I need to look up what is going to happen to her. I dont' want to know but I have to be prepared.

On a lighter note the visit to Santa with the girl's yesterday was lovely. Lucy even talked to Santa, what a breakthrough :)