I have a friend I've known online for quite a few years. Shortly after I had Lucy she had a lovely little boy, her first child. The only time I have met her in real life was when our babies where small, but our online friendship has continued, so have the christmas cards and gifts for my babies. She really is a lovely person and doesn't deserve what has happened to her. She found out she had breast cancer when her little boy was just 8 weeks old. I remember when she posted that she'd found a lump and we all told her to get it checked but not to worry. So many of us had had lumps which had turned out to be nothing sinister. She was not so lucky. It turned out that her breast cancer was metastatic which means it has spread. Through it all she has continued to be kind and caring and never complains of her plight. She is a very brave lady. Cancer is a very cruel disease.
A group of friends are walking the Pink Ribbon walk, 20 miles in honour of this lovely lady. They are hoping to raise £1000 for Breast Cancer Care. If you can please consider making a donation to this truly worthy cause.
Pink Ribbon Walk Just Giving Page
Thank you.
Monday, 12 March 2012
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
knocking
Isn't it amazing how one action can trigger a memory that affects you so much. Sometimes good, sometimes bad but our minds are incredible machines that keep things locked up so well, stored away until they are needed, or until some trigger sets them off.
Today on the way home from the school run I saw someone knocking on a door, nothing strange about that, but they looked really desperate to get in, they were knocking the door, ringing the bell, banging on the glass, looking like they might lose it completely at any minute. I walked on, there was nothing I could do.
Then it hit me. The last time I was knocking on a door like that, the desperation I felt, I wanted to kick the door in, it was a porch and I'd have another door to face if I managed it. I had to get in, I needed to get in, the person inside needed me, I'd come to help them, I had to help them, I had to get in.
The person inside was already dead, I was about 4 hours too late.
Today on the way home from the school run I saw someone knocking on a door, nothing strange about that, but they looked really desperate to get in, they were knocking the door, ringing the bell, banging on the glass, looking like they might lose it completely at any minute. I walked on, there was nothing I could do.
Then it hit me. The last time I was knocking on a door like that, the desperation I felt, I wanted to kick the door in, it was a porch and I'd have another door to face if I managed it. I had to get in, I needed to get in, the person inside needed me, I'd come to help them, I had to help them, I had to get in.
The person inside was already dead, I was about 4 hours too late.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Since He Came Home
You may remember my post recently about my eldest boy going to stay with his dad in France for a while. I missed him terribly while he was gone, but he's been a pain since he got back last week. He has come back with a real attitude, in fact, last year when his sister went to stay with their dad for a month she came back with an attitude too. Well, I'm sorry I don't live in the South Of France near the beach, and I'm sorry our home is overcrowded and there are noisy small children around. And I'm sorry I don't cook at 9pm (blimey I'm ready for bed by then) but I have to feed the little ones and I'm not spending all night in the kitchen. All the years I brought them up on my own while their dad enjoyed his own life. All those years working so they could have the things they wanted, and giving up a job I loved because what they really needed was a mum at home, all the fighting with schools and authorities to get them the proper help they needed. All the worry, all the tears, all the sleepless nights. Then after a few weeks with their dad and suddenly I'm not good enough.
OH well, they are adults now, they can go if they are not happy! I'm sure they'd cope just fine without me.
I don't think big son has had a conversation with me since he got back. He spends most of his time in his room, coming down only for food. He's even been taking his food upstairs because 'he hates eating with the girl's because they make so much mess' (believe me, he can make just as much mess himself, even now!)
Then last night he left the house around 10pm without telling me he was going out. I heard the door shut and had to check is room to discover him gone. He rarely goes out, and never goes anywhere without telling me first. Maybe he's trying to prove he can be independent? I know I can't treat him like a baby, but he really isn't safe to be out alone without me knowing. He was only gone for about 1/2 hour and when he came back he went straight upstairs without seeing anyone. I did go and ask him where he'd been but he told me he had been in his room all night.
Why on earth do we ever want to be parents?
OH well, they are adults now, they can go if they are not happy! I'm sure they'd cope just fine without me.
I don't think big son has had a conversation with me since he got back. He spends most of his time in his room, coming down only for food. He's even been taking his food upstairs because 'he hates eating with the girl's because they make so much mess' (believe me, he can make just as much mess himself, even now!)
Then last night he left the house around 10pm without telling me he was going out. I heard the door shut and had to check is room to discover him gone. He rarely goes out, and never goes anywhere without telling me first. Maybe he's trying to prove he can be independent? I know I can't treat him like a baby, but he really isn't safe to be out alone without me knowing. He was only gone for about 1/2 hour and when he came back he went straight upstairs without seeing anyone. I did go and ask him where he'd been but he told me he had been in his room all night.
Why on earth do we ever want to be parents?
Saturday, 25 February 2012
My Inspiration....
...............Comes from Paulo Coelho
I read a book of his many years ago, The Alchemist. It is about following your dreams and how sometimes the things you want or need most are right where you are now, you don't have to look far.
Over the years I've read most of Paulo's books, some I've found better than other's but I just love his outlook on life. I often read through the quotes on his website and his regular blog posts are a must. I also look out for his little messages on Facebook, each one speaks out to me (and his 7,712,806 likers) Today he said;
He is very much a modern day philospher, and although you can take his books on face value i.e. simple stories, there is always so much more he is saying. Like all authors he is not to everybody's tase, but to me, well he is my inspiration.
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I read a book of his many years ago, The Alchemist. It is about following your dreams and how sometimes the things you want or need most are right where you are now, you don't have to look far.
Over the years I've read most of Paulo's books, some I've found better than other's but I just love his outlook on life. I often read through the quotes on his website and his regular blog posts are a must. I also look out for his little messages on Facebook, each one speaks out to me (and his 7,712,806 likers) Today he said;
and yesterday:
He is also a very spiritual person, and although we are not from the same line of faith we have many of the same beliefs.
He is very much a modern day philospher, and although you can take his books on face value i.e. simple stories, there is always so much more he is saying. Like all authors he is not to everybody's tase, but to me, well he is my inspiration.
I've always said what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, this is just a different way of saying the same thing.
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This post is for Special Saturday, an online ‘global’ campaign that aims to raise awareness of children and adults living with special needs.
Please join the cause by joining the facebook page -https://www.facebook.com/SpecialSaturdayhttps://www.facebook.com/SpecialSaturday
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Friday, 17 February 2012
Being Broke!
We went into town on Wednesday for a day out seeing as it was half term. First we went to Waterstones because Cassie was looking for a book. The girls had fun in the children's department. Then we went for lunch at the Loft. I figured a bit of real food was better than the usual Mc Donalds, plus I just love their pie.
Then it was time for the girls to visit Build A Bear. Lucy has her bear already, Bonnie, she's had her since she was a baby and loves her loads so we bought her a lovely new princess outfit and some pink roses shoes. Leila chose a white bear to make and had fun stuffing it and putting in it's little heart. Then she chose a pink dress and some 'glass' slippers. We had lots of fun. We then popped into the Disney Store and the Entertainer. The girls crawled through the tunnel across the ceiling of the shop and down the slide.
Then we came out of the Bullring and I wanted to pop into a card shop. I left Graham outside with the girls and the pushchair, and Cassie popped across to the cashpoint. She met me in the shop and gave me some cash to look after for her. On leaving the shop we split up because the others wanted to go to Gamestation and I wanted to go to Mothercare. I took the puschchair back of Graham but didn't put my purse in my bag as usual, I stuffed it in my pocket, Mothercare was only a minute away.
We split up and shortly afterwards I nearly ran into another girls puschchair causing a bloke behind me to bump into me briefly. I thought nothing of it but when I got to Mothercare I checked for my purse and it was gone. I thought I'd dropped it or left it in the card shop at first but soon it dawned on me that it was probably taken by the bloke that bumped into me.
So I lost everything, my purse, my cash, my cards, my bus ticket home and even Cassie's money that I was looking after.
Cassie managed to scrape together her bus fare home and gave me her Daysaver, it was only an adult one, the one I had lost covered me, Graham and Lucy. I was terrified as I flashed it on the bus but the driver let us on and we managed to get home.
I was having such a lovely day with my family and it was completely ruined by some selfish stranger. I couldn't afford to lose the money I lost but in the end it's only money. The whole experience just made me feel sick.
Then it was time for the girls to visit Build A Bear. Lucy has her bear already, Bonnie, she's had her since she was a baby and loves her loads so we bought her a lovely new princess outfit and some pink roses shoes. Leila chose a white bear to make and had fun stuffing it and putting in it's little heart. Then she chose a pink dress and some 'glass' slippers. We had lots of fun. We then popped into the Disney Store and the Entertainer. The girls crawled through the tunnel across the ceiling of the shop and down the slide.
Then we came out of the Bullring and I wanted to pop into a card shop. I left Graham outside with the girls and the pushchair, and Cassie popped across to the cashpoint. She met me in the shop and gave me some cash to look after for her. On leaving the shop we split up because the others wanted to go to Gamestation and I wanted to go to Mothercare. I took the puschchair back of Graham but didn't put my purse in my bag as usual, I stuffed it in my pocket, Mothercare was only a minute away.
We split up and shortly afterwards I nearly ran into another girls puschchair causing a bloke behind me to bump into me briefly. I thought nothing of it but when I got to Mothercare I checked for my purse and it was gone. I thought I'd dropped it or left it in the card shop at first but soon it dawned on me that it was probably taken by the bloke that bumped into me.
So I lost everything, my purse, my cash, my cards, my bus ticket home and even Cassie's money that I was looking after.
Cassie managed to scrape together her bus fare home and gave me her Daysaver, it was only an adult one, the one I had lost covered me, Graham and Lucy. I was terrified as I flashed it on the bus but the driver let us on and we managed to get home.
I was having such a lovely day with my family and it was completely ruined by some selfish stranger. I couldn't afford to lose the money I lost but in the end it's only money. The whole experience just made me feel sick.
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Cakes
I love making cakes, I'm still learning lots but I don't care if they are not perfect, I put my heart and soul into them and really enjoy having something to work on. So here I'm going to post some pictures of cakes I've made in the past year.
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| My niece's 14th birthday cake |
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| A Portal Cake |
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| coffee and hazelnut cake |
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| Son's Yoda Cake |
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| Friend's daughter's cake |
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| Cupcakes for the teachers |
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| Daughter's Rapunzel Tower cake |
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| other daughter's Princess and Pirate cake |
Thursday, 9 February 2012
Always at the Airport, Never on the Plane
I took my eldest son to the airport yesterday, he's going to visit his dad in the South Of france for a while. Things around here were getting him down and he needed a little break. I guess he also wanted to see his dad too!
So we set off to the bus stop to take us to the train station. While waiting for the bus Graham comes running out of the house with the plane and train tickets. mmmm yes, I think we might be needing those!
At the station we have 10 minutes until the train leaves but Craige decides he wants a drink and some chocolate first. Ok, we have time....but not time to walk around the shop 3 times because he can't decide what he wants.
Finally jumping on the train with seconds to spare but chocolate purchased we can continue with Craige's rendition of Chinese History. He'd already talked non-stop on the 25 minute bus journey about it. Ok, I'll admit to finding it quite interesting ;-)
Then he shuts up and gets out his book and we have peace....ahhh! The journey to Liverpool is 1 1/2 hours and it went pretty quick. I was mostly looking out of the window in wonder at all the frozen ponds and rivers, ohhh it looked cold out there!
From the station it was straight on the bus to the airport. From what I saw on the bus journey I was thinking that Liverpool looked just like every other city I'd ever visited, not sure why I was expecting different really, but I've never been there before. On this bus Craige decides that it was probably not a good idea to pack his spray can of deodorant and wants to get it out of his case. We wait until we get to the airport, 40 minutes until gates close, and grab a baguette and a drink while we remove the offending aerosole from his suitcase. Then he checks in and is on his way through passengers only gate within 15 minutes. I watch him as long as he's in view like it would be the last time I ever saw him again, just in case.
Then it was back on the bus to the station. Waiting on the platform I can't believe that the train I'm supposed to be on is not showing on the screen. It was freezing and the screen was telling me I had an hour wait. So I decided to go back inside the actual station so I didn't freeze to the platform. At the top of the stairs I saw the train I wanted pulling in on a different platform...eeek! One mad dash and I made just before the door closed. It took me 5 minutes to get my breath back, but then I settled in for the journey home, looking to the skies for a glimpse of a plane, any plane, so I could wave goodbye to my son one more time.
So we set off to the bus stop to take us to the train station. While waiting for the bus Graham comes running out of the house with the plane and train tickets. mmmm yes, I think we might be needing those!
At the station we have 10 minutes until the train leaves but Craige decides he wants a drink and some chocolate first. Ok, we have time....but not time to walk around the shop 3 times because he can't decide what he wants.
Finally jumping on the train with seconds to spare but chocolate purchased we can continue with Craige's rendition of Chinese History. He'd already talked non-stop on the 25 minute bus journey about it. Ok, I'll admit to finding it quite interesting ;-)
Then he shuts up and gets out his book and we have peace....ahhh! The journey to Liverpool is 1 1/2 hours and it went pretty quick. I was mostly looking out of the window in wonder at all the frozen ponds and rivers, ohhh it looked cold out there!
From the station it was straight on the bus to the airport. From what I saw on the bus journey I was thinking that Liverpool looked just like every other city I'd ever visited, not sure why I was expecting different really, but I've never been there before. On this bus Craige decides that it was probably not a good idea to pack his spray can of deodorant and wants to get it out of his case. We wait until we get to the airport, 40 minutes until gates close, and grab a baguette and a drink while we remove the offending aerosole from his suitcase. Then he checks in and is on his way through passengers only gate within 15 minutes. I watch him as long as he's in view like it would be the last time I ever saw him again, just in case.
Then it was back on the bus to the station. Waiting on the platform I can't believe that the train I'm supposed to be on is not showing on the screen. It was freezing and the screen was telling me I had an hour wait. So I decided to go back inside the actual station so I didn't freeze to the platform. At the top of the stairs I saw the train I wanted pulling in on a different platform...eeek! One mad dash and I made just before the door closed. It took me 5 minutes to get my breath back, but then I settled in for the journey home, looking to the skies for a glimpse of a plane, any plane, so I could wave goodbye to my son one more time.
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