Had a call from my younger brother at about 11.30pm last night, I'd already been in bed an hour, he wanted me to go and sit with him for a while. Mum's guinea pig, Patch, died yesterday and I think everything just got too much for him. I didn't go, i asked Gray to talk to him for a while, which he did under protest.
I'm going to see him in a while to sort out wether he can stay on in the house and help him sort out bills and stuff. He's never done anything like that before as he's always lived with mum. There is no-one else at all who is willing to help him. Now mum has gone he has no-one, not one other member of the family wants anything to do with him and in all honesty I shouldn't either. He did some dreadful things 10 years ago that blasted our entire family apart. Mum was the only person who stood by him, which meant cutting off the rest of the family.
Now my dilemma, I know there is no-one else 'soft' enough to help him. I know that mum would never forgive any of us if he wasn't helped and that was one of her greatest worries. But I feel like I am betraying my family by helping him. Deep down he's still my little brother, he needs help and I hate to think of him in this situation alone. But what he did was so unforgivable, and I can't stop feeling like a traitor. Oh Help! I'm so confused.
Graham has supported me up until now but today he turned around and said he doesn't agree with me helping him but he knows I will no matter what.
I wish I knew what to do, what to feel, what to think.
1 comment:
Anne ~ I have a feeling that you will follow your heart on this one. I don't think you're being soft, I think you're showing compassion and forgiveness which I admire you for. Forgiveness is as much for ourselves as is it for those who have hurt us as it frees us up to move on emotionally.
I don't know what happened to your family historically but I do know that we all deserve a second chance, your mum obviously felt the same about your brother. The best choice is often the one that gives you the most peace of mind, the one that you can look back on in ten years and feel good about.
If your family love you then they'll respect your decision no matter what. I must say though that you could do without all this just now. Wish I could shoulder some of the burden for you.
Sending you love and cuddles
Sharon xx
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