Thursday 15 January 2009
Why?
Why does grief hurt so much? Why can't I think of mum and be happy instead. All I feel is pain, all the time. I'm trying so hard to be strong and my family certainly keep me busy enough not to wallow in my grief, but all I want to do is disappear now and have some time alone. I so need to talk to mum. I've tried talking to her while in bed (the only time I get to myself) and I've been to the cemetery to talk to her, but it's just not working. There is stuff I NEED to tell her and ASK her. I just can't accept that I'm never going to see her again.
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2 comments:
Anne xx
I'm no expert on grief at all but from what I've seen of it in other people it's a journey with highs and lows and one that most people have to travel sooner or later. I know that bereavement goes through various defined stages such as disbelief, anger, acceptance etc. but I'm not certain of the order except to say that acceptance is the last one. There is also no time limit on how long this 'journey' should take, different for different people I suppose.
From what you're writing you appear to be in the 'disbelief' stage so you may find some comfort from the fact that you've obviously taken the first step on this difficult journey and you're heading towards the final goal which is 'acceptance'.
Do you know anyone else who's suffered loss and who's come out the other side?? It may help to talk over how you feel so at least you can reassure yourself that what you're feeling is normal and maybe it's best to just 'go with it' although I can so appreciate the pain that travels alongside of that.
There are trained bereavement counsellors that you can speak to and I assume that your GP would be a good person to ask if there are any near you. You've suffered such huge loss in the last few weeks I think it would be wise not to try and shoulder all this on your own my lovely.
I'm not being much use am I but I so feel for you Anne. Seems to me you could use a real big cuddle and if I were there I'd be sure and give you that now.
love and cuddles
Sharon xx
Hi Anne, Think Sharon has given you some very good avice there. Also you have not only had to cope with a double bereavement but also the so of it all. I know your Mum was ill, but it was so quick it didnt give you time to 'prepare' yourself. And your brothers death was a complet5e shock at a time when you were at a very low ebb anyway.
I nearly took this route myself but has good support from my sister when dealing with bereavement (which I dont think YOU have) but you could perhaps try some short term anti-d's just to get you though. The day-to-day stuff becomes so difficult when you are in this sort of heartache.
Alexandra x
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