Sunday 11 January 2009

A Message?

Today was weird.
We had to go back to the house to pick up the large furniture which we have sold to Graham's uncle. When we got there we noticed a cd on the dining table. Now I know it wasn't there yesterday because one of the last things we did was take photo's of the table for Ebay. The cd was Stereophonics and on the back one of the songs, Miss You Now, had a little mark on it (orange pen) So I played it in the car. We've been trying to think of a song for Sim's funeral, something that meant something to him and I guess that was on my mind. The song was suitable, so I got out the booklet to read the words. It was written in the style of notes made when working out the song and it had at the top the original title which they'd scrapped for Miss You Now. The original title was Miss You Sister.

It's probably not as spooky as it seems because I'm not the only person with keys to the house, Kevin has them too. He probably went to see how it was going there and left the cd for me. I can't understand why he didn't bring the cd to me though, or even why he didn't call or text me to say it was there. I've been waiting all day. I could have called him I know but that will have to wait until tomorrow now.

I haven't been able to sleep because of things racing around my mind. I thought that if I dealt with the house quickly then I could just start getting back to normality and it would be better, I also thought I'd deal better with an emptyish house rather than one full of mum's stuff. But I was so wrong. Today upset me more than ever. I just want everything back and put back in it's place and I want my mum back too.

I'm desperate to get down to the grave now, I just haven't had the time yet.

No comments: