Sad Day

I'm responsible for what happens to the contents of mum and Sim's house. It's one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My brother Kevin took some of the most expensive things to sell. Felt a little miffed that he took mum's almost new 42 inch, flat screen, HD tv when the tv we have is a hand me down and the best thing I can boast is that it's wide screen. He also took the new car that my brother had just brought, both without asking me. (and Sim's Tom Tom and mobile phone)

I've had sleepless nights all week worrying about what to do. I need to empty the house. I can't keep everything as much as I would like to. I need to raise money to go towards my brother's funeral so I put some of the more expensive things on ebay (bedroom suite, mobility scooter, brand new fire and coffee table) and I've sold the living room suite and fridge freezer to family members.
Selling all the other stuff required time and preperation and to be honest, my head is just not with it. I can't go sorting through all my brother's stuff, especially his clothes even though I know he has some pretty expensive items. So what did I do? I freecycled it.
It seemed like a good idea at first. I put up the clothes, the beds, the dining table and the cooker (which are in excellent condition) and a few smaller items. I carefully chose the people who asked and told them all to come to the house today.
Then I endured a compeltely mental hour at the house while everything dissapeared very quickly before my eyes. The lady who came to collect the clothes for her teenage son was really nice and her eyes nearly popped out of her head when I gave her a pair of practically new Nike trainers. (they cost Sim £90 in a pre-christmas sale)
Another lady came for the cd's and brought me a sympathy card. Another lady who collected the singing santa's had chatted to me on the phone for 10 mins beforehand, she was also nice. There was a couple who came for the bed and they were nice enough, but they kept asking for stuff and ending up taking a van load of things, like half the kitchen.
Afterwards I felt utterly depressed. I love to give, but it just felt so wrong. I kept playing it all over and over in my mind and thinking about what my mum would say. I felt I'd done wrong.
Then Graham said to me, would you feel any better if you'd sold it? I thought about it and realised it wasn' t the way I'd got rid of the stuff, it was just getting rid of it that was hurting. And I'm sure I'll feel the same about the stuff I sell on Ebay (if it ever sells) I've kept as much as I possibly can but I wish I could keep it all. I also freecycled a couple of dolls that my mum had in the bedroom, but when I looked at them closely they were so beautiful I've had to keep them. Heaven knows where I'll put them, but I will look after them.