Went to the cemetary today. When we arrived Lucy got all excited, she thinks the gravestones are like books to read. She likes to stop and pretend to read them. I would love to be 3 and have no idea of what death is.
Mum's stone was missing, it's been taken away to be engraved with her and Sim's names. I don't know how I will feel when it comes back, I guess it will make it all seem so much more real, not like the bad dream it feels like now.
Also, it seems that the grave is growing teddy bears. We put on a teddy that Sim had bought mum, she had it in the hospital and the hospice with her. I thought it would go missing as things do on graves, but no, today there were 3 more bears. Very strange.
It dawned on me today that I've been visiting the same grave for 34 years!!! I can still remember the pain of losing dad but it's been so long and I was so young the memories are faint. Then there is nan in there too (talk about a family plot!) she passed away 22nd February 1996.
I just hope that if we do go somewhere after life then they are all happy together.
I have a lovely friend who is currently going through something very similar with her step-dad. My heart goes out to her, it's such a difficult time.
I also have a friend undergoing treatment for cancer. She's at the hospital tomorrow for test results, I hope the news is not bad.
I think I will have to do something for Cancer Research. I do already contribute monthly but I'm thinking maybe raising money with sponsorship. It's a dreadful disease and it's everywhere you turn.
Finally, I will give my thoughts out to Jade Goody and her family.
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