Mothers Day

Today has not been a good day for lots of reasons, but mostly because my mum is not here. I miss her so much there are no words strong enough to explain the pain. I took some flowers to the cemetery and saw her grave stone complete with engraving for the first time. It makes it more real now, I have to accept that she's gone.

As for the rest of my day, well to be honest I'd rather not say. There was a lot of crap and some nice bits but now none of it seems to matter. I had time out today. I took the girls to the woods and we had a walk around. Not quite as warm as it has been lately, but still nice enough. Sadly we found a dead badger which frightened Lucy, but it also made me realise that she doesn't understand death. She still thought it would bite her even though I'd told her it was dead and it was not moving at all.

I've just been reading Cassie's Live Journal, (yes she knows, she had to add me as a friend, but if there is anything she doesn't want me to see she only has to tick a box) Strange it may seem but it's a good way to communicate, you can be a lot more honest and open when writing things down. (Any blogger would know that) I do talk to Cassie, some days she's more open to talking than others but she knows she can talk to me anytime. Anyway, I digress, back to the LJ entry, she said some really nice things about me and made me see that she does appreciate all that I do for her. She did a little tribute to me as it was Mothers Day.

I know that Craige cares too, I've had 3 hugs today!!

To me Mothers Day is about showing your mother how much you care and you don't need to buy gifts or cards or flowers for that.

I think a lot of mum's feel under-appreciated anyway, it can be a pretty thankless job. So when a day comes along that is meant to celebrate mums, it's easy to get upset when you are not showered with nice things, or have things done for you. It's even harder to bear when you hear of other mums getting gifts, going out for a meal, having everything done for them while they put their feet up etc. But in reality it's just one day a year, tomorrow it won't matter.

So, tomorrow is another day. Another day I have to go on without my mum and another day I have to continue my thankless day as a hard working mother. But another day I have to enjoy the delights that my children bring into my life continuously.

So roll on tomorrow, it'll probably feel like a long time coming as my precious ones keep me awake all night :)