I was watching The Wright Stuff the other morning and they were asking if you would/did marry to please your father. Well, I did even though my dad had been dead for 12 years by the time I wed. I even got married in the church where he was buried so he could be there. He was very old fashioned and I just know that had he been alive he would have wanted me to marry before living with my partner and having children. So I got married at 20 and it lasted 19 years but only because it took me 9 years to get a divorce.
Now I'm being asked to get married again. I didn't really want to marry again but he thinks it's because I don't love him enough. So I've agreed to a quiet registry office wedding. It won't happen though unless I arrange it. The old fashioned me wants to be married to my little one's dad and have the same name, it seems the right thing to do and I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. A part of me knows I could do a lot worse, but I could also do a lot better, but I wouldn't bother trying for the better so why not settle for what I have. I can't trust him but then that makes no difference wether we are married or not, I don't think he will change just because he is my husband. So here I am trying to decide wether to actually go for it or not. Which seems sad, because it shouldn't be like this. I know I will make the right decision in the end.
2 comments:
Anne ~ Just to say I've been having a read of your excellent blog & it's so expressive & well written :)
Re: getting married, I think reality is always a lot different to the romantic ideals which the world pushes at us, if you both want it, why not ...
Something that I find helps me is accepting those things I can't change in life, (accepting is not the same as agreeing with or approving)but it means you get less stressed out & you do find peace.
Follow your heart xx
Thank you Allie xx
I am very much the accepting type, I have a lot of things I already accept with my eldest children which so many others would not. The only way I find any peace at all is by having a totally forgiving nature, otherwise I dread to think how bitter and twisted I would be. I'm biding my time for a little longer because I believe the answer I am looking for will come to me eventually.
Post a Comment