I'm so fed up with life. What is it all about? I can't answer that. I thought I knew, I've always had a zest for life, but lately it's passing me by. I've always wondered why people who commit suicide take there families with them, when they have 'so much to live for' well I think I have the answer now, life is just shit. There isn't anything to live for it's all crap, and they are just saving their loved ones from having to live the same crap.
I'm not contemplating suicide, or killing my family, haven't got the bottle. No gumption, as my mum would say. Just got to carry on with this crap, but when my time comes I'm going to be happy and embrace it. Even if there is nothing afterwards that will be better than this.
3 comments:
Oh Anne you sound so down. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you at this time.
All I can do is send you (((hugs))) and strength to get through this time.
When we lost H there was just one occasion when the opportunity to end it all was there for me - for just a split second I thought I could just take away all the pain but it was my family that came straight into my mind and I knew I could never have done anything to hurt them further.
Much love to you
Liz xxxx
((((Anne)))) my lovely xxx
There are so many people who love and care for you. Those beautiful little girls for one.... There will be things to live for again, there really will, they're just very well hidden at the moment behind your grief. We've all had moments when life gets too painful to even choose what colour pants to wear never mind do the big stuff!!
As for having no gumption well, I have you up there as one of the strong ones because you're still in the fight, you're still getting up every day, still breathing in and out, still cooking, cleaning and caring.....that is a massive achievement on the back of what you've been through so don't be too hard on yourself.
Please know that we're out here thinking of you, praying for you and willing you on no matter how black the day may seem. Anne, you are not alone my lovely, oh no you're not. We're here and we're holding you up in spirit.
Sending you strength and fondest love....
Sharon xx
{{Anne}}
Thinking of you today. I hope today helps close a chapter and allows a new one to open for you. Sometimes, you have to feel really dark before you get light again. I hope this is how it will be for you.
xxxx
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