I Think I May Have Overdone it.

Decided today to go into town to get some maternity clothes. Everything is overstretched now and my bellyband isn't help much anymore, so it's time to move on to the real stuff.

So with Graham and the girls in tow we headed off to the city centre. First car park we tried was full, that's what you get for going on a Saturday, but I know my way around enough to know the quiet car parks so we soon found somewhere. The plan was to stay in the Bullring (huge shopping centre) but straight away OH was complaining about Leila's buggy (which was falling apart but I didnt' want to buy another as she'll be 3 and at nursery soon and hardly ever uses the buggy already.) So we went to Mothercare on the high street, only Mothercare had vanished. So we decided on Argos instead. Then we went back to the Bullring so I could buy my clothes. Already feeling tired I didn't try everything on and now I'm faced with returning items. The girls were moaning too, they wanted to go to the toy shop.

So next it was the toy shop, then lunch, then a browse around Pumpkin Patch. Then Graham decided he wanted a PS3 game which was new and hard to get, so 3 shops later and game in hand we were all fit to drop. Lucy did really well considering her bad knees, but she did have a swap and ride in the buggy while Leila had a walk. She had to have Iboprofen before bed to ease the pain and no doubt I'll be on massaging duty during the night.

On the way back to the car park I couldn't resist a quick browse in Mamas and Papas to look at prams/pushchairs. I was quite taken with the Luna and it's really well priced, but it's too soon for me to make big purchases yet. Also had a look at the Pilko Pramette, but not overly impressed.

Back home I started feeling twinges, which soon turned into aches and then had me reaching for the paracetamol because I could barely move. My groin and hips were agony. I didn't cook dinner, we had to have take out, and I've been lying down since girls went to bed. The pain is starting to ease now so I'm hoping to get some sleep soon. So much for thinking my SPD wasn't too bad this time, serves me right.

Also, I've been getting out of breath really quickly. I've always got like this towards the end of pregnancy when I'm really big, but I'm not even 17 weeks yet so it's unusual for me. Even tasks as simple as getting dressed leave me huffing and puffing, and I have to have a sit down if I go upstairs. The thought of another 23 weeks of this is depressing.

On the good side, I've not had a single spot of blood this pregnancy. I'm still nervous and checking all the time, but I'm hopeful that it's not going to happen, touch wood, fingers crossed, touch my collar, turn around, drink a glass of water upside down...err no that's hiccups, sorry.

All in the Head

It just goes to show that feeling low has more to do with your state of mind than what's going on around you. I've had a fair bit of bad news and extra stress this week, but I'm still feeling much lighter than I was last week. Or maybe I'm just weird?

Anyway, I'm dealing with the bad stuff and looking forward to happier times. I applied for one of those cheap Sun holidays (from the newspaper The Sun) and this week we had a confirmation and we are going to Devon on 26th April for a 4 night holiday. I'm not a sun lover, so as long as it doesn't piddle down every day (or snow!) I'll be happy. I'm just glad to be getting away for a while, even if I will be the only driver. Definitely looking forward to it.

Next week I'm having my first appointment for my crown fitting. I have had a veneer on the tooth for the past 6 years but it came off and for some reason the new one just wouldn't stay on so my dentist recommended a crown instead. Never had a crown before, will it make me feel royal?

I'm also having an appointment for my blood tests to find out if there could be a possible health problem with Serge (the bump). I just know it's going to be a bad result because of my age alone the risk factor is 1:35 of having a baby with Downs Syndrome. Then I'll be asked if I want invasive testing to find out for sure....not something I really want to do. So my fingers, toes, and earlobes are crossed for a completely surprising excellent result from the blood tests.

Not so good

Feeling a bit all over the place at the moment, I'm guessing it's hormonal, either that or I'm going a wee bit crazy.
After an initial high I think my hormones have taken a surge and now I'm falling fast. I just don't think I can cope, everything I do takes so much effort and I don't really want to put any effort into anything, I just want to give up now and do nothing. There is so much going on in my head I can't sort it out, I can't sleep. I'm missing mum, I think she's the only person who ever really understood me.
After all these years (21) I so want to move out of this house, my home. I've always loved living here but now I feel like the walls are closing in on me. It's never been a big house, but now I just can't cope with how small it is. Maybe a major de-clutter would help but that would require effort and as I said before, effort is beyond me right now.
For now I'll just carry on regardless and hope that somehow things inside my brain start straightening up and I will be myself again.

All Is Well

I'd like to introduce you to baby number 5, or Serge as I'm naming it while still inside.

I think it's the clearest scan picture I've had at this stage. I was bang on with the dates so that makes me 13 weeks and 4 days today, and Serge is due on 09 August 2010 (pity if I'd waited a month it would have been 08 09 10, or maybe I could just move to America!) Then again, babies rarely turn up on their due date, out of my current 4 only my 2nd arrived on her due date. Serge is currently due 13 days after Leila's birthday and 15 days before Lucy's, so it's going to be a close call anyway.

All is well with little Serge, who currently measures in at 7cm. The little heartbeat was visible and there was lots of movement. And I've put on about 8lb which isn't bad for the first 3 months, I think. Will have to watch I don't put it on any faster though.

Feeling much more relaxed now that I know all is well. I am excited about having this baby, I'm just a little worried about how I'll cope. And I really do need a bigger house and car!

Nervous but excited

It's my dating scan tomorrow morning. I guess every pregnant woman is the same, at this stage anything could happen, you just don't know what is happening in there until you've seen it on the screen. I should be confident because I have all the positive signs, including a bit of a bump already. I won't be happy until I know everything is where it should be and working properly.

When I had my eldest two you didn't get a scan until 20 weeks and then you couldn't really see much. I just remember seeing a little jumping bean which was, apparently, the baby's heart beat. I didn't get pictures either because both times the printer wasn't working. So when I got to see Lucy on my first scan at 12 weeks I was shocked to see an actual baby, she was facing forward and you could see her facial features. Then the 20 week scan was so detailed it was just amazing. I've never had a 4D scan, I think they show a little too much detail, if you know what I mean? I like some surprises when the baby arrives.

I've decided to find out the sex of this baby. I did with Lucy and it was really nice knowing, but when I got pregnant with Leila I felt I'd missed out on the surprise of finding out after the birth. It's not quite the same when the midwife calls out 'it's a girl' and you've already known for 20 weeks and bought everything in pink. This time however, I just want to know. Maybe it will be a boy? I really don't mind although I know Graham would like a boy. But mainly I'm worried about future sleeping arrangements if it is male, I mean, how long would he be willing to share a bedroom with two sisters?

I so need a bigger house!

Anyway, I'm off to bed now with everything crossed that I won't be getting some nasty news tomorrow.

(oh, and for those of you who may not realise it, but I won't be finding out the sex tomorrow because it's too early to tell yet...I'm thinking here of maybe an alien that might be reading ;-)