Saturday & Sunday

Saturday.
The plan was trip up town to walk around the market and take the girls on the carousel. Then the big kids decided they wanted to go so as I don't have a people carrier it meant two trips to the station. (and back home again afterwards)
We started off in the Bull Ring! No, that wasn't what I planned, but we didn't stay there long.
Outside it was FREEZING. The carousel ride was FREEZING and the girls were not that impressed, although Lucy did say she wanted to go again. The queues for food were stupid so we ended up going to Greggs for lunch!
Leila did nothing but moan, until she fell asleep. I think it was because she was cold though.
We got back home and had planned to visit mum but it was late and we were shattered and the girls were sleeping so I called her and arranged to go Sunday instead. She sounded fine on the phone. I even offered to cook her Sunday lunch for her and she was happy about that.
Then a few hours later I get a call off my brother (Kev) to say she had been taken into hospital. I spent the whole night worrying about her then
Sunday
this morning I worried even more when the hospital couldn't tell me where she was on the phone.
Finally I found her and we visited her this afternoon and it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. She has empysema quite bad now and for the past few weeks has been feeling poorly. The dr came out to see her on Thursday and said that her chest was ok, but she was complaining of stomach pain and he said she was constipated. Last night when my brother went to see her she'd tried to take herself to the tiolet but the pain had been too much and she'd collapsed. In her panic she couldn't breathe properly (quite understandable with her condition, she only has 1 third of her lung capacity left) so my brother rushed her into hospital.
The tests had shown that her chest was no worse than usual (The doc on Thursday was right) but they were concerned about her stomach pains. She's having a scan tomorrow to find out what's going on. Fingers crossed it's just a real bad case of constipation.

Happy Birthday to Me

43 today, how did that happen?
Bit of a mixed day, had loads of lovely cards and gifts and had great fun doing tons of baking today, my birthday cake was delicious even if I do say so myself :)
But on the other hand, no cards or presents off Graham or any of my kids :(
And Gray and I had a stupid fight this morning because I asked him to look at a special offer I saw on the computer and he was watching the tv. I dont' think I've ever seen him so angry and we ended up saying some nasty things to each other. He stormed out the house and left me in tears. I kind of hoped he would come home in a better mood, maybe say sorry, and, long shot, maybe have bought me a birthday card. More fool me. :(
Wait until his birthday, he'll get nothing from me.
I suppose I could understand it more if he'd always been this way, I mean some blokes are just plain useless at birthdays and such, but no, he used to be quite generous, I've had lovely gifts and flowers in the past. It's only the past few years he hasn't bothered. Maybe he just doesn't love me anymore?

Money Money Money part 2

I was playing bingo on Friday when I actually won a game, whoo hoo I thought, more playing money, then I realised I'd won in under 50 numbers and it was a skyrocket game...mmm what does that mean? I get an extra £2oo on top of my winnings, making a total of £224, not bad for 30p. I've requested a withdrawel which should take 5 to 7 days. Now will our benefit be sorted out by then or will dinner be on Littlewoods?

Money Money Money

Got a letter today off the tax credits. Since Gray lost his job we haven't been getting any help from the jobseekers allowence because he was claiming tax credits. The letter today say that the tax credits were stopped a month ago and not to expect any more. So basically we've survived the last month on nothing, thinking if we struggled through it would all be sorted out for next month, and now we find that we are getting nothing next month either. So depressing :(
Never mind Christmas, I can't afford to feed my family. I'm getting letters regularly that I'm going to be evicted but there is no way I can pay the rent. The utility bills haven't arrived yet so they will be next to go.
Time to look for a job. I can't depend on anyone else.

Answers!

Went for a scan at the hospital today at the ungodly hour of 8.30am. Even the coffee shop hadn't opened!
Anyway, news is I have fibroids. I dont' know how many or how big I have to wait and see my gp for full results.
I dont' even know yet if I will be needing an op.
I do feel better for having some answers though.

No Googling!

ADVICE: if you don't feel well and you have loads of symptoms then stay away from googling them. Scared myself silly now :( Just a couple more days and maybe I'll have some answers, or at least I'll be able to rule out the more serious stuff.

When I find I'm missing Lucy too much I go out into our garden where I can see her nursery. It is literally 4 feet away from the wall at the bottom of the garden. Just knowing that she is so close helps. Daft sod!

Down down down

Still feeling really down, finding it difficult now just to carry on with everyday life, but I will, because that's what I do, this won't beat me, I'll soon be up and perky again.

Lucy went back to nursery today, she's staying all day today. I will miss her but the way I'm feeling at the moment at least that one less to look after for a few hours. :(
She was so excited to go back, she ran to the door as soon as she saw the teacher coming to open it, even though she was in the middle of a game in the playground.

Was going to take Leila to playgroup but she was so miserable this morning.