Christmas Day

Well, it's that time of year again, I don't know if Christmas day will ever be the same again, I just can't get through without thinking of mum and how she left me. I can't believe it was two years ago, it feels like yesterday, it hurts like yesterday, the pain never lessens.

I went to the cemetery yesterday, the first time I'd managed all week because of the snow. I went on my own and had a good chat with mum. The grave was covered with so many wreaths that they were mostly standing upright as there was no room for them to lie flat. A sign of a grave full of people sorely missed and greatly loved. It made my heart warm to see wreaths for my brother too. It also made me sad because he believed that no-one would ever be there for him and it is proof that he was wrong.

Anyway, sadness aside it's been a good day today. We got up around 6.30am when the little ones all seemed to stir at the same time. The girls were so excited when they saw all the presents Santa had left them. We soon got into an uwrapping frenzy, even little Joseph was buried in gifts.

Dinner was good, although I felt like I was in the kitchen most of the day. Everyone ate all they were given except Lucy. She probably would have been happier with chicken dippers! She did eat her vegetables though. We even managed pudding, traditional for me and Graham, chocolate for the others.

The girls have been good 99% of the day, not bad going really. Joseph is still not well so he's been a bit moody at times, and tonight he was very sick again. I hope he will get better soon.

My friend didn't make it out of hospital which is sad. I hope she starts recovering soon, she must miss her little ones so much.

So that's another Christmas day over, is it really worth all the effort put into it? Well, the girls faces when they got up this morning was enough to make me say yes. There is nothing like little ones who still believe in Santa at Christmas time, magical

Christmas Time

Last week was the girls last week of the year at school. Leila had done most of her christmas things the week before, like her Christmas party and they had a panto. It was a good job because she got sick on the Sunday night and didn't go to school Monday or Tuesday. I took her back on Wednesday and went to school with her in the afternoon to do some bauble decorating, but she didn't look well and got sick again when we were home so no school for the rest of the week.
Lucy went to school and enjoyed her Christmas party and she did one show of the nativity play, but then she got sick too and had to stay home the last two days. I didn't get to see her nativity because of Leila being sick. I was gutted. I had planned to go to the second show but Lucy didn't make it.
Joseph was also poorly so I had a nightmare of a week, stuck indoors with poorly miserable children and they are still not well now. Just as I think they are improving they start getting worse again. Mostly Leila and Joseph, Lucy seems to be holding it off better. Fingers crossed they are well by the end of the week or we'll be in for a moody Christmas.

This week I had lots of plans, we were going to the Frankfurt market in town, visiting Santa's grotto, visiting family and going to the cemetary. The shopping was sorted online and delivery slot booked, and all presents bought and ready for wrapping. I thought it was going to be a breeze. But then came the snow, and it snowed and snowed. Then it stopped snowing but it's been freezing so it's just not going away. We haven't been out anywhere that I'd planned, and the shopping delivery was cancelled. I had to brave the icy roads to go and get some food. Not the week I'd imagined/planned for at all.

But then something happens that puts things into perspective and makes me feel guilty for complaining. My dear friend is in hospital with pneumonia. She has two young children left at home in the care of her grown up son. She has a grown up daughter but she's really poorly too. I hope and pray that she will be well enough to be home again with her children for Christmas.

Still freezing

One week later and we are still without heating, even our old gas fire is refusing to work. Temperatures here have dropped to -8C at times and I hate feeling cold. I can't get in touch with the engineer despite leaving several messages. The worst is getting up in the night with Joseph, I just can't get warm. I've been putting the gas cooker on in the kitchen and going in there when the cold gets too much. It's a nightmare!

On a completely different subject, since having Joseph we've had his pushchair in the lie down position and we got to wondering how you made the seat sit up. I tried to work it out, then Graham had a go and together we were trying for about 1/2 hour. We then decided that their was a piece missing and began hunting for said piece. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had a vague memory of being able to sit the pushchair up when I first bought it, and this memory held nothing of a part which I'd removed, or even could be removed. So this evening I got the pushchair out to have another go and guess what? I did it!

So what did I do that was so difficult we couldn't work it out?

I lifted the seat upright until it clicked into position.

Seriously, that's all we had to do. Then you press a little plastic clip on each side and it lies back down again. So simple....so what does that make us? Stooooopid!

Anyway, Joseph's not ready to sit up just yet :-)

Another completely different subject (I'm all over the shop tonight) Lucy came home with a letter from school that she'd written herself. It was an invitation to see her in the school nativity play.
It was addressed to Daddy and Grandad.
I felt heartbroken.
I asked her why I wasn't invited and she said I had to stay home to look after Joseph as no-one wanted a crying baby in the audience.
Why couldn't daddy look after Joseph? Or even nanny or grandad?

Freezing!

I think most the country can relate to my title today, this weather has taken us all by surprise, snow already! I'm doubly freezing as the central heating has broken down, and apparently I'm not alone as it's taken forever to get someone to fix it due to the large number of breakdowns. We did have the initial visit within a couple of hours after my call but he needed a part and had to go away and order it....and he's not come back yet...maybe tomorrow...please!

I've been neglecting this blog recently, not knowing what to write. Two years ago I was going through such a traumatic time this blog became my crutch, a place of release where I could put down all my feelings, I truly understood the meaning of blogtherapy (ok it's a made up word, but it does make sense)

Now, well in comparison I feel like Mrs Boring Boredom of Boringville. Just another mum going about her daily business. I'm not complaining though, I never want to go through any thing like that again, it still hurts so much now, especially this time of year when it was all beginning. I got through last year high on new pregnancy hormones, this year I'm more worried, scared that I'm not going to survive the holiday season while at the same time scared that I might actually enjoy it. And I don't know which is worse.