Forgiveness

This is an article I wrote for the website Helium. It rates in at no. 1 for the topic, and has never left that spot since I submitted it, so I'm thinking that those that have read it seem to think it's good to rate it top.

What to Do When You Find Your Partner Has Been Cheating.

One of the most painful experiences we can go through in life is finding out that the person we love has been cheating. So what do we do next? First you need to forgive them. Now, I don't mean immediately take them back and say all is forgiven, you don't need to stay with them, you don't need to tell them, but if you don't forgive them you will live with a bitterness that will stay with you forever, and through all your future relationships. So even though it hurts, take your time and find it in your heart to forgive. We are only human and we all make mistakes.

You will need your friends and family around you, you need support and you need to talk. It will be difficult to talk about at times, but it's best to get it all out. If you are willing you can even talk to your partner. Of course at first you will probably be in the mood to strangle them, but talking to them about what they did and why can help you to move forward, and that is your goal.

Next you need to decided whether there is a future for your relationship. Are they remorseful? Do they promise it will never happen again? Do they swear it meant nothing? Do you believe them? If you don't believe them and you have the slightest doubt then your relationship will suffer and may not work again. Sometimes relationships can be improved after infidelity, but only if both partners are utterly and completely honest with each other.

Have they left you for someone else? Then this is the time when friends and family are most important. This hurts so bad but you have to be strong. You need to keep reminding yourself of all the good things in your life and realize that this relationship was not good. You will get through it, and one day it won't hurt so bad, and you will be a better and stronger person having been through such a dreadful experience.

At all times you should try to retain your dignity. Revenge may be sweet, but often it's more bittersweet and the feeling lasts longer than any pain from the cheating. Begging and pleading with your partner to return is also a very bad idea. It will not make you happy even if they do come back, because it's not what they want.

Finally, remember it's your heart and your life and it's up to you to decide what you want to do next. Well meaning people will be on hand with lots of advice, listen, but stay true to yourself and don't do something just because it's what someone else thinks it is best for you.


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sometimes your own advice is the hardest to take