Wasting Away!

I've never had to diet. I'm tall, 5ft 8" and have always been in proportion. As a teenager I was skinny but I put on a lot of weight with my first baby (four stone!!) and I've never been skinny since. I lost a lot of weight after my second baby and managed to stay fairly slim for a long time.

Just before trying for my third baby, some 16 years later I had started to put on a little weight and was around 7lb heavier than usual. Then I had three babies in 5 years and now I am overweight. I know Joseph, my youngest, is only (almost) 8 months old but I thought I'd be at least my pre-pregnancy weight by now but it's not happening.

Although I've never dieted I have been more careful about what I eat at times, and I've done exercise regimes from time to time. Now I'm having to get working on losing this weight and getting back to being normal.

I have another one and a half stone to lose and have set myself a target of the end of May, that's nine weeks so I need to lose just over 2lb a week. I'm hoping it won't be difficult, I'll let you know how I get on.

Hippy, Goth, Rock Chic Geek

I've never really fitted into any specific genre completely, I'd like to think I had a particular identity but I'm more like a bit of this and a bit of that.

The hippy in me is the part that loves anything New Age, I'm into meditation and crystals and would love to live a free and easy life away from the city. I don't have much free time now but there was a period of my life where I felt I was really into all of this.

The Goth in me is the part that is fascinated by dark fantasies in particular Vampires, Werewolves and other supernaturals. I also love wearing black (When I'm not having a pink day) I love the way Goths go way over the top in their dress and make up, and I'd much rather be pale and dark haired than tanned and blonde.

The Rock Chic is self explanatory. I love rock music. I'm a big fan of all music really, even classical and opera, but if I had to choose just one genre above the rest it would be rock. I like blokes with long hair too but I've never dated one.

I have no problems admitting to being a Geek, so long as you realise I don't do freaky circus acts! I am into technology and education, I was considered a swot at school and a bookworm, but I was never bullied. I'm also into science fiction to a certain degree and I get obsessive over things.

I have no dress sense, I'm most happy in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and no they don't have to be branded or designer. I'd like to wear dresses and heels more often but they are not practical with three little ones to look after and to be honest I go with comfort over fashion.

I've never had much idea about what to do with my hair either, being naturally mousey and straight. When I was younger I would have it permed and backcombed, anything to stop it from looking straight. Then I went through a stage where it was always tied up. In my 30's I decided to go blonde for the first time, and I hated it, I couldn't wait for it to grow out. When straight hair became fashionable I was happy for the first time. I need just a few seconds to straighten out a couple of loose strands and I'm fitting in. My biggest bugbear now is having to dye my hair to cover the grey.

I don't wear make-up. Sometimes I'll slap on a little tinted moisturiser, lip balm and eye liner, but it has to be a special occasion before I apply anything else. I do actually enjoy 'making up' but I don't like cleaning it all off, and I don't often have to the time to do it anyway. At present I'm still waiting for the chloasma from my last pregnancy to fade properly, at it's worst it looked like a really bad 80's foundation application, you know the sort that ends at the edge of your face leaving your throat white while the rest of your face is brown. Last summer everyone thought I was tanned, but I don't leave the house without a smothering of sun block!

Things can only get better

Have you ever thought well things just can't get any worse? I was there last week, then things got worse, and keep on getting worse, I've stopped hoping for them to start getting better now and accepted that this is a really rough patch that I'm just going to have to get through. Forever the optimist I know what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. (Shouldn't I be made of steel by now?)

I don't want to get into it all but it's not just one thing that's getting me down but everything, relationships, money, health, children, the house, the car etc etc. And the world around me is shockingly tragic, even things that have nothing to do with me personally are affecting me. Last week a little girl died in my street, I didn't know her but her tragic death has had me grieving for her and her poor family, the flowers outside are a daily reminder of the tragedy. Then while in the local supermaket the other day a lady collapsed and died. I didn't know her either, what a sad way to go in the aisle of the Co-Op.

Then there is the cruel acts of nature in Australia, New Zealand and now Japan, such tragedy, so much loss, so much sadness. I'm not directly affected but feel the sadness so deeply. And there is so much war, so much tragic loss on a daily basis, so many families and homes destroyed by man, is there anything more awful.

I'm trying to find glimmers of hope and happiness but it's so hard right now.