In the dark. That's how it feels when the depression starts to hit. It's like someone has turned out the lights and I can't find my way. I've a lot on at the moment, not all bad, but the good stuff just isn't making me feel any better. I'm on that slippery slope again, going down deeper into the darkness. I don't need a reason why, I don't need to be asked what's wrong, no-one can make things better I just have to ride it out. Sometimes it passes quickly, sometimes not. I keep myself busy for as long as I can hoping that I don't get so bad that I just stop and do nothing except the essentials.
I don't sit around crying, or stay in bed feeling sorry for myself. I don't complain or moan. I do sometimes get angry a bit quicker. Mostly I am a lot quieter than usual and I prefer to be alone. I don't like going out when I feel like this, even a trip to the shops is difficult.
Mum always told me to 'snap out of it' but it's not that simple. I wish I could.
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