Recipes for a perfect marriage

I've just read a book called Recipes for a Perfect Marriage by Kate Kerrigan. Not really my sort of book at all, all slushy and romantic. In fact I don't even know where it came from, probably a book bundle I bought sometime. Anyway,  I was looking for something to read and this one caught my eye because it has actual recipes in it. I'm totally addicted to cook books, so I gave it a whirl. The blurb on the back promises an insight as to whether true love can be learnt. Something that strikes a chord with me, as I often feel incapable of true love, whatever that means.

The story itself is quite nice, set in two different lifetimes it follows the story of a grandmother and that of her grandaughter alternately. Both of them in seemingly loveless marriages, both of them foodies. I didn't care much for the grandaughter but the grandmothers story revealed some beautiful insights into life, dreams, love and motherhood. There are a couple of quotes I'd like to share. The first is from when the grandmother's mother-in-law dies and she is looking at her orphaned husband in his grief.

"A mother draws a map for her child and places herself in the centre of it. Her death wipes that map clean. She leaves you knowing you must redraw it to survive and yet not knowing where to start."

Anyone who has lost a mother they were close too can relate to that. I have never in my life felt so lost and alone in the world as when my mother died, for a while I wondered if it was possible for me to survive, what was the point. Then I began redrawing my map, often thinking what would my mother say, always with a sense of loss, but also with a sense of freedom never felt before. A mother's bond can be very strong.

The second quote comes from the grandmother's reflections on being a mother. She only has one child and longs for more but it never happens.

"No matter what wisdom or tricks for happiness you learn, a mother worries every day of her life for her child. A wise one will pretend to let them go to keep them, but it's just a sweet and sensible lie. Motherhood is a sweet sweet suffering; a joy today is marked by a fear for tomorrow and a craving for yesterday."

How quick does motherhood fly by, how quick do our children grow? It's scary, we want to hold them as babies, but we want them to grow and mature as well. We worry constantly even when they no longer require us to worry for them. Letting go is the hardest. I'm lucky as I've a whole brood around me, but does that mean I have five times the worry, does that mean I have to learn to let go five times over? What happens when Joseph leaves the nest?

Even though this was not the type of book I wouldn't normally read, I will admit to have actually enjoyed it. And, yes, I've tried some of the recipes too. In fact, yesterday I cooked the Slow Roasted Clove Ham, it took me hours. I liked it but the big kids said they preferred it cooked quickly, tough and salty! What do they know eh?